Work Hard, Play Harder

I know I should be working on my BioChemistry or studying for my lecture quiz in Anatomy tomorrow. But for some reason this seems like a better idea. However, with school work load there is the natural fact that every college student needs an income. How else would we be able to afford the endless supply of soup and popcorn? For myself, I acquired a job at the local Center for Arts and History. I've only worked there for two days so far, but I love it. It's only office work and helping my artist boss set up for the upcoming galleries. Either way it is something to help pay the bills. I know i keep hearing people say, "make sure you find some YOU time in all that extra school/work", well yea know what i consider sleep and holidays, me time. I suppose I need to find better activities to count but that'll have to do for now. All that aside I love it here in Lewiston and I wouldn't have it any other way or any other school. Only downside to my school work is my math class. My teacher is from Greece and speaks very fast and poor English; and sadly his handwriting doesn't do him any justice, either. However, his humor is the kind that makes it all better. Although I feel like i need to get him some gold stars for him to give students when they answer questions correctly. Every time some one answers one of his idiot proof questions you get awarded with a variety of "excellent!" "Good for you!" "Terrific!" I however find this comment laughable. Besides the fact I'm in a basic algebra class when I ended high school in Calculus AB. Other than that I feel like with the way he talks to responses and asks questions, it's an elementary grade math class so gold stars are a necessity. Boy wouldn't that be a sight, a short, bald, foreign, 65 year old man, passing out gold stars to college students?? This needs to happen! Best college ever, by the way! Okay enough for today, hopefully work plus school don't shorten my life. Or maybe the giant hill I walk up each day will take me out first, this is undecided. If only i could fly! Would solve a lot of problems and hill contemplations. Oh well, another day another aggravating climb. Only time will tell, now for homework! Joy.

Take Two

All settled into my new life in college and finally after two days of classes it feels more like it can be a temporary home than it did when the homesickness was in full swing. I still miss home and my family but it isn't as persistent. Class is what I was used to however the feel of not knowing what to do with myself and knowing practically no one makes for an adventure all it's own. After hours spent already on homework and it's made the days go faster when brain turns to mush after 3 hours of note taking. However, the importance of my science classes cannot be over stated. My future rides on an application at the end of my sophomore year. Nothing in life comes easily so it's all the more reason to believe in your passion and fight like crazy for that need to arrive at the inevitable conclusion that is desired. Here's hoping for the best, I'm only a freshman so time will tell. But all I want is to enjoy the now and only hope for the future. I don't want to waste away my life being scared of something one woman said about the degree I would like to seek. I want to be able to enjoy these next four years while achieving everything I've dreamed for. Fingers Crossed.

Halfway there

I guess you could say it has felt like one of those weeks where my future just slapped me in the face. Made me take a step back and see how drastically in such a short period of time everything is about to change. Went to Lewiston yesterday so I could put my schedule together for the Fall semester and it turned into getting my student I.D., making my own decisions towards my schedule, and talking with the head of the nursing department who was proud of the science load I took on to be on track for junior year. Walking around campus...needless to say, I felt like I was floating. It just didn't feel real, but after that day I just can't wait to pack and start the next chapter in my adventure story. It was so much to take in but not in a bad way. Especially since there were a lot of cute boys going as freshman too, BONUS! I know very girl like of me but it's to be expected. Although once May comes that means AP tests, which is the consistency of my classes so after the tests, no more learning! Let the count down to graduation begin!

Counting.

Only so many days left to be called a wildcat and I have never been more excited. I know I post about school a lot but what else is there really? Especially at this age. Speaking of age, finally 18 and I just don't know what to do with myself. It isn't anything special but it only feels like a number. Although I can't help but feel like I'm older since I feel trapped in a sea of guppies. Time to grow up kids and face the real world. Whoever said all girls mature after guys was seriously demented. But everything now-a-days is off a couple screws by far. Nthing is as it used to be and somethings have to get under our skin enough to flip a switch inside our minds to realize the harsh realities. Although it seems the only thing truly keeping me sane is Counting the days until Wyatt will be born and watching my sweet little Chloe grow too rapidly. I feel like an old woman, can't imagine how my parents feels. Scary. Or Counting till march when I get to see a part of me that decided to return to where he belongs. Even if it is for a small period of time. Counting to graduation and being allowed the privilege of my tassels. Or simply Counting how many times something so vague and randomly changing as the weather can reflect any symptom of change in particular with myself. I don't know, I could be off my rocker a bit, but it seems like when a part of me packed up and shipped out everything was just cold and those few days after my visit, summer decided to hit. Simple but effective. Times are changing just like the leaves are falling, down, down until there is nothing left for them but to start over in a new home of black plastic. Everyone is a leaf, in a way, we may be at the highest point in our lives being on top of the world, but what goes up must come down and even then we fight to stay out of a hole of darkness only to regain our nobility. Simple little point of view that doesn't get noticed much. Fall is my favorite season, for the same reason we all love staring at stars and finding the big dipper; we notice the changes and that can make all the difference in ones perspective.

All worked up and nowhere to go.

Today, two of my four advanced classes had tests, which by my luck happened to be back to back. Luck? I would call it tortured twist of events. However, no matter how bad I freaked out about my tests I realized now that the more I freak out the more likely I am to do well. Weird realization I know but sometimes everyone has to see the light. whether it be in a good or bad way I suppose. Well as for my calculus test, the jury has returned to show me I freaked out for nothing but only to get a 94 out of 100 and for my first calc test that is pretty amazing if I do say so myself. Government on the other hand is a different story. I don't think I failed the test but its government and politics, you either understand it or you're headed for the loony bin for even thinking about trying. School aside though, my 18th birthday is right around the corner and by that I mean next weekend. It's a weird feeling to think about being considered an adult, but everyone has to grow up, even if they stay a kid at heart. I can't say I don't miss making mud pies and burying my diaper in the sandbox (which my mother refuses to let me live down my stripping years). I was little and believed in freedom to express and dress how I wanted, whether it be naked or not. Anyway those were the simpler times of no homework, stay at home moms, and of course running around till I passed out onto my pillow top boat, I called my bed. But its time to face the harsh reality of facing the Walmart crazies alone and fighting with Comcast idiots online that live in India and speak no English. I want to get old but not just yet. Even after the clock hits 6:57 P.M. on October 8th. I will still be a simple 4 years old at heart when a rock could be a knife and the corn stacks in the backyard were a dangerous jungle full of man eating Lhasa Apsos running about. Homecoming Saturday after the SAT, again might I add but what ya going to do gotta make a living so better take the 5 hour test that is way too long for its own good, full of subject assessments you will probably never use again in your life. Unless of course you decide to become an SAT test maker. Then I would have to question that persons mental ability to pick more respectable job. Almosst makes me want to track down the writers of the WASL (now the HSPE...thanks Obama.) and question their sanity. Although it's not up to me, anymore than having to take an art class to graduate is. I can't draw and it wont help my career, DEAL. Oh well, high school is gone in a blink of an eye. seemed like yesterday I was a freshman freaking out in my kitchen about upperclassmen and now I have to decide on which senior picture to use. Life's a crazy ride, so you can't think twice. You just have to get in the car and drive.

Senioritis...

First week completed of my Senior, we get ready to move into the next only fearing for the strength it will posses. I find that the ability to adapt to change in the physical sense sets human nature apart from opposite creatures. Although, this isn't entirely true. Gossip and Judgment keep our lives busy with a temporary purpose. Even though it isn't for a good cause necessarily. I read a small passage for my English Lit class that showed the true ugly form of human behavior; it says that the way we know we're alive is when we're wrong in more ways than one, but especially when judgment of others is concerned. Since this is very true, it makes it hard to look at someone and wonder what their judging wrong about you from a distance. By this it makes real impressions on a person go a stray because you already have your idea in your head and anything other than that can't be right. I know I'm rambling but the strict feature on mind setting causes you to protect oneself from actually getting the assumption thrown onto yourself. But, all that aside, the ability to adapt shows true and strong throughout my high school by watching the freshman adjust from middle school or when seniors start changing their mind set from high school to college. I wouldn't say I have senioritis only a week into the year but I definitely want to start my life outside the same small group of teenagers i have grown up with. But with college weaseling its way deeper into my future its hard not to ignore the inevitable. Either way, at this point the only thing anyone can really do is not worry about being right or wrong about someone or anything and just go along for the ride. Well all I can say isi f you can do that then, lucky you.

College for me

As the summer comes to a close, my only motivation to finish my senior year high and strong was getting a little letter in the mail from my school of choice. Yes, that's right, I got into Lewis-Clark State College. Which is the most best possible push for the final home stretch to finish school and start my life as a nurse living in some state working in a foreign town in order to try something different than the normal routine I grew up with. But who knows I might stay in Lewiston or come back to Spokane. But I love to travel so starting fresh more than once could be just the experience I want to try but never have had the guts to attempt to do something out of the ordinary. But all that plus a letter gives me the hope and will-power that I can push through four advanced placement classes, come September. Oh well, even if I stress out from time to time and could probably be a crab to my parents, I know that it is all worth it in the end.